Sorry Donald Trump, but you really are an Ass!

Do you know what the really amazing thing about Donald 'some of my best friends are coloured!' Trump is?

Nuttin'!

That's right, folks!  A big fat zero!

This truly is a man without a single redeeming feature that I can discern.   And the only surprising fact about him is that there are enough idiots out there who think that this poor excuse for an American statesman is a viable candidate for the Presidency!  Poor old Abe is must be turning in his grave!

On his absolutely terrific website our Donny starts off by informing us all about how much danger the average 'corn-fed, white' American is in from your average American Muslim!  According to the Center for Security Policy 25% of US Muslims think that "violence against Americans in the US is justified as part of the global jihad," and 51% want free choice as to whether they wish to live under Sharia Law or not.

Ok, those are the facts according to this particular poll.  And let's be fair; those are some pretty troubling statistics.  Now, it would seem blindingly obvious to me - but then I don't have Trump's rump to bounce ideas off of so I might come up a bit short - but isn't the Muslim community in America right now feeling just a little bit isolated?  And perhaps slightly victimised?  Criminalised perhaps?  Just for being Muslim?  In the land of the free?

The land of the free!

Can that be right?

Now, I'm no politician - not telling any lies there then! - but if someone in my group/neighbourhood is feeling a bit lonely, on the fringes of things, you know, then I'd go out of my way to make that person feel welcome and part of the group.  I'd try to bring them into the fold, make them feel part of the group.

Makes sense, yeah?

If someone feels separated from the rest there is a tendency to lack trust; it's only natural.  If one stretches the distance between any two points and it always becomes harder to see what occurs on the one side from the other.  Pull even further apart and the differences between the two points become blurred and faded and eventually unrecognisable.  But should the two points pull closer together then.......

In a much bigger way, surely the way to deal with problems bubbling up in the US Muslim community is to bring them into the fold in the same way and not to push them away.  Bring them closer, try to find out why there are such feelings of disenfranchisement, what drives this vehicle we call radicalisation?  And then try to sort through the differences.

Our hero on the campaign trail!

But young Mr Trump wants to isolate these guys even further by banning all Muslims from entering the US indefinitely, or, as he put it, "until our countries representatives can sort our what is going on."

So that's when then Donny?  When Daesh are all dust?  Or when the Middle East has been shut down permanently and where there were once mud huts housing savages there shall now be bright shiny Taco Bells and Burger Kings?  Or when George Armstrong Custer rises from the grave to ride headlong into Jerusalem at the head of a righteous army of mini, bumped-up Trumps, all high on on the heady words of their hallowed leader!

"Let's make America great again!"

"Let's make America great again!"

"Let's make America great again!"

But, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, so if America is feeling hungry for a taste of Trump pie and the Republicans decide to run with this poor, misunderstood....shit, I'm gonna say it!....racist, bigot, then you'd better be ready for the next CSP poll to read a whole lot worse than the last one!  And if you think America's in too many Wars now, then just give your good old boy a chance and see how many more countries he'd piss off in 4 years!

I can tell you.....it'd be a lot!  Cos he's an Ass!  And if you, or anyone you know votes for that Ass, well then, you're an Ass too!

The exit strategy DC ignored! Don't go in the first place!

Last night's Commons vote in favour of bombing Daesh in Syria was, unsurprisingly, passed with our Dave claiming a clear mandate by the margin of the victory gained.  Reports this morning state that within an hour of the result, RAF Tornados were were let loose on oil installations in Daesh held territory in eastern Syria, with Defence Secretary Michael Fallon confirming that they flew from RAF Akrotiri in Cyprus.

So Britain's in!  In truth, from the moment the first bomb was set off outside the Stade de France there was never any other way that Cameron would have had it.  Standing shoulder to shoulder with our allies!  That's the British way lads!  Hurrah!

And yes, whilst it may well be the British way, the seeming lack of a clear and coherent allied strategy and, what's more, no exit strategy to boot, one can't help thinking that dear old JC might have hit the nail on the proverbial head when he suggested Davey-boy was 'rushing headlong into a War' without any plan as to what comes afterwards.

The arguments 'for' are well trodden and, I would guess, that even though they are largely understood and appreciated by the public at large, I would strongly suggest that the majority do NOT want this 'mission' (for want of a worse word) undertaken in their name.  For myself, I'm flabbergasted that more isn't being done to pull the financial teeth of Daesh, and if it is being done, then why aren't we being told about it?  Surely naming and shaming the countries, corporations, banks and individuals who are profiting out of doing business with Daesh would be a tremendous coup.

Yesterday we had Russia accusing Turkey of buying this tainted oil, an accusation strongly denied by Turkish President Erdogan.  Once again, surely we should be told the truth.  I've no doubt that the Security Services of many nations know exactly who these racketeers are; so let's bring it into the open, why not?

Well, I'd hazard a guess as to why not, and that would be that for many, be they any of the above who benefit, it could prove to be an embarrassment for one or more of the allies.  That's the problem with War.  Whilst those on the ground suffer, die and starve, someone else sits somewhere else counting their ill-gotten gains, gilded in an amoral cage made of financial favours, political deceit and out-right greed.  That anyone should profit out of War is bad enough, but to propagate it in order to profit is a sin of the highest order.

The BBC yesterday said that they understood smuggled Daesh oil may well be being sold and marketed within Turkey, as well as further afield.  Such knowledge is invaluable, but is it the truth?  For a NATO ally and a nation that wishes to join the EEC this should be bad news.  If Turkey is complicit in this trade then there should be consequences.  If not, but it is going within their borders then some serious questions need to be asked and answered of the Turkish security forces.  If the BBC can uncover this, then quite frankly, where the  f*&k were you guys?  

Dave also tells us that there are 70,000 moderate Syrians willing to do the donkey work once our bombs have tenderised the enemy sufficiently.  But he doesn't seem to be able to explain where or who these moderates are.  From recent past experience, surely arming, training and supplying other faceless, nameless groups, who may well be jihadists themselves of one colour or another, is a lesson in futility.  When it's all done and dusted can we just ask for our guns back?  Pretty please?

So imagine Daesh are gone now, but were left with vast reaches of the Middle East with no infrastructure, no viable cities, no nothing apart from groups of wildly, victorious 'rebels,' armed to the teeth, bearing their own grudges against who? the West, other Muslims, Jews, anyone who tries to tell them how to live their lives?   Just take your pick!

It's a disaster waiting to happen.

If you haven't seen Charlie Wilson's War, then this next reference might pass you by, because as the Cabinet pat each other on their backs for the all good work they've done and continue to do, I'm sitting here thinking, 'we'll see!'

I can see the West turning their backs once again.  Sure, the refineries need re-building, so we'll send the boys in, get them up and running again making sure, mais bien sur, that the vast majority of the oil flows back into the coffers of the hailed liberators, the profits lining the pockets of the legitimate enterprises that 'are struggling to get this country back on it's feet,' whilst at the same time investing the morally won profits in a nice little mansion in the Hamptons, 'you know, a little bit of security for my Grand kids!'

But what about the kids left homeless, school-less, parent-less in Syria?  What about them?

What amazes me is how millions, in whatever currency you choose, can be spent daily to exterminate these enemies of Democracy, but trying to get the cost of a single bomb out of them afterwards to build a school, or a hospital, or a new mosque, is all but impossible.  I just don't understand the logic.  And then we ask what is it that's radicalising these kids?

Making martyrs out of Daesh is not going to help anyone.  They seem to be becoming like Hydra from the Marvel films.  'Cut off one head and 2 more will appear!'  They need to be rendered harmless and that can only be done by restricting their finances and stopping the flow of weapons.  If they've only got a couple of pea-shooters left then I think we can say that the problem has been dealt with.

The only reliable ground forces that I can see though, appear to be the 20,000 or so Kurdish Peshmerger fighters currently being bombed by both the Turkish and the Russians!  So how can we really expect the Kurds to take up the mantle seriously when, as soon as it's done, they go back to be harried left, right and centre by the aforementioned?  The state boundaries drawn up in the Middle East, largely by the French and British in the wake of WW2, just do not work.  The Kurds need to be promised, as do all the indigenous peoples of the region, a viable homeland of their own, where they, the Palestinians, Sunnis, Shi'ites, Kurds, whoever, can live, free from persecution, to follow and build their lives as they wish, not as we tell them to do.  Western style Democracies do not work in the Middle East simply because the electorate do not follow political leaders, preferring to take their onus from religious leaders.  If that how they wish to be governed/live then we should be strong enough to say 'go for it, mate.  I'm with you all the way!'

And controversially, I would also include a homeland for those who wish to live the Muslim Sharia life.  To my way of thinking they are as entitled as we are to live how they wish.  They would just need to be .... restricted, shall we say, in their ambitions!

Does this mean then, that multi-cultural societies cannot develop or survive in the Middle-East?

Possibly.  Only time and sufficient wisdom on all sides will provide an adequate answer.  However, I would suggest that they could and should flourish.  The Ottomans, seen historically more often as great bureaucrats rather than the great conquerors they undoubtedly were, were, of course, also famous for their religious tolerance, and as a consequence multi-faith, multi-cultural, peaceful societies were largely the norm in the Middle East during their reign.  I'm not suggesting that we bring back the Ottomans, merely that we can use their historical example perhaps, as a way of developing more understanding in heterogenous societies.

Of course, for any multi-cultural society to work it takes tolerance and understanding, qualities it is much easier to possess if one has food on the table, money in ones pocket and a smile on ones face!  Hence, in the rich West, we see tolerance practised much more widely; we see people striving to understand what drives those different from ourselves because we have the time and the money to indulge those interests.  Those cowering under a daily bombardment should be forgiven if they can see only their own point of view!  But if we can give the long-suffering children of the Middle-East the same chances that we would wish for our own children, but allowing them at the same time, to express those chances as they see fit, then I think we would all find that we are not so different, after all.
 
   

World Cup in December? Are they joking?

Editorial
Qatar World Cup 2022 to run during November and December

So we've heard some of the arguments for the Winter World Cup in 2022; the players will be fresher so may play better; it's bringing the WC to the world (but then TV does that much better I think!); it's too hot and so dangerous to hold it during the Qatari Summer....blah de blah, blah.....but where are the arguments against?

I've got a few....I can tell thee!

Let's face it, we all know exactly why the WC is going to Qatar, no matter what they say, and for me their arguments FOR the Qatar WC are puerile attempts at papering over the real reasons it's going there.  just tell the truth...."the WC is going to Qatar because FIFA is going to make a shitload of cash (that's if it hasn't already....if you know what I mean....) and doesn't give a flying fart for the disruption it's going to cause to European leagues."

There you see....it doesn't sound quite so horrific now you say it out loud Mr Blatter.

Erm.....that's not quite true.....I said out loud and it sounds pretty damn awful......but shhhhh!  Just don't tell Blatter or that perennial Premier League hater Platini (who I've got a few platitudes for...I can tell thee that as well!)

Now just think about that disruption for a minute.....I just don't see how it can be limited to a single season for a start.  If they overrun the season by 2 months then the 2022/23 season will spill over into the the following year with barely a discernible gap between the two.  So what do they do?  Start the 2022/23 season early, or the 23/24 season late?  I don't know.....

Another option; play the season as normal but teams that lose players to the WC will just have to field lesser sides.  That might work....or would it?  I'm not sure how how many players exactly each team is allowed to register with the PL before the start of the season, but MU this year I believe have a 28 man squad and by my count could expect to lose about 17 or 18 for example (if it were being held eminently, for the sake of argument) for the WC leaving them barely able to field a side.  So does the PL then say that with the commencement of the WC they can temporarily bring in another side?  But from where?  The obvious answer is the academy.  OK, again that might work, but in reality their crowds and hence, their revenue, may be halved or even worse.  Who wants to pay PL season ticket prices to see 16 year olds kicking the ball for half the season?  Not me!  As good as they might be.  But again, just suppose the crowds don't drop, but in the absence of the big players the team starts to play badly.  They go from top say (it is MU after all...and I can only hope) to 9th or 10th place.  Quite possible in 2 months if they lost every game.   And then afterwards the big players are too knackered to turn it around and they miss out on Europe as a result.  Now we're talking oodles of lost revenue with FIFA Secretary General Jerome Valckle confirming compensation will NOT be forthcoming for European clubs after all.  And this could happen all over Europe, though the disruption to the English PL will be greatest due to the fact there is no scheduled Winter break as a matter of course.  Imagine...the following year we could have a Champions League featuring ...I don't know....Swansea, WBA, Elche, Mainz and Freiberg.  As lovely as that might be for them, for the rest of us we miss out on seeing the best players in Europe in the best competition just because a few FIFA delegates couldn't keep their sticky fingers out of the money pot.

Ok, I know I'm being a bit alarmist...but bloody hell, someone has to be!

I'm going to be really interested to see how the PL and the rest of Europe are going to deal with this problem once these dates are confirmed, and they surely will be.  Seven years to sort it out might just do it.....we'll know soon enough.

And a Happy Christmas to you too Mr Blatter!




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Weekend Sports Review: Cycling and Football

Weekend Sports Report

with Negrito

After a short break I'm back with all your Sports news.  As usual it's been a bumper weekend and it's difficult to know where to start.  But Paris is as good a place as anywhere.  Yesterday saw the final day of the Worlds and Britain finished 10th in the medal table with 3 silvers, a long way off the achievements of the previous few years.  In fact this was the worst Worlds since 2001 for Britain and to read some reports online one could be forgiven for thinking that the roof of the world had fallen in!  But nothing so dramatic has occurred I'm afraid.  Shane Sutton, British cycling head honcho after the departure of Dave Brailsford last year, has had a tough time since taking over.  After the runaway successes of the past few years Sutton was always going to be batting on a sticky wicket and without a glut of golds in this, his first WC in charge, was on a hiding to nothing.  But was it really as bad as all that?  

Well, I don't think so.  In reality it must be almost impossible to maintain the elevated performance levels of the past few years.  At some point a period of rebuilding is going to needed.  Many of our top stars have now retired and for the youngsters coming through time and a bit of patience may be the key.  The Olympics are not for another 18 months or so by which time the picture may be much more positive.  Sutton has a long-term plan that is geared towards Rio and I'm sure many of the newbies will by then be pushing for medals.  For the more senior members of Team GB who didn't quite live up to their billing this time round, we need to again have patience.  For any athlete, whatever the sport, there are times when things just don't click; you work just as hard, train even harder, but for some unknown reason sometimes things just don't go to plan.  But with experience comes a degree of wisdom and those who haven't quite been on song this week, such as Laura Trott, Jason Kenny et al, will no doubt bring it back even stronger next time.

For me the star of the show was Francois Pervis, the triple gold medal winner who successfully retaining the titles he'd won the previous year and appears to have taken over as track cycling's newest superstar, filling Chris Hoy's shoes with ease.  And finally special congrats to Australia's Anna Meares who won the Women's Elite Kierin, her 11th World title, amazingly putting her one title ahead of Hoy.   

Froome on his way to victory in the Ruta del Sol.
Pic. from Skysports.com

Outside of the WC's Chris Froome (Team Sky) sealed a dramatic victory on the final day of the Ruta de Sol, in Southern Spain.  A mountainous Stage 3 had Froomey's great rival, Alberto Contador (Team Tinkoff-Saxo), open up a sizeable gap of 27s for a week long race.  But Froomey remained unfazed and the very day he he took his revenge.  Aided by team-mates Roche, Kennaugh and Nieve, Froomey pulled away from an isolated Contador to reverse the losses of the previous day and then some.  This left Froome with a narrow 2s lead over Contador for the final day.  In the event Froome managed to hold on strongly after a largely flat stage finished with a sharp uphill sprint in which Froome put in a fine performance to finish 6th on the day, so sealing a solid early season victory over Contador.  

Whilst this victory will certainly give Froome confidence that his training regime is going well, as a long term pointer to grand Tour success later in the season, it is largely irrelevant.  Any win over a major rival is always welcome, but it's still early days in the 2015 season and the Tour contenders will still be hard in winter training and will only be looking to these early races as indications that things are going well.  Another month down the line, however, things may well be rather more imperative.  March sees several possible outings for Froome, though his presence at any, or all of these races has yet to be confirmed.  Mid-March sees the Paris-Nice, an 8 stage World Tour event and a race Team Sky always put out a strong team for.  The end of March sees the Volta de Catalunya, won last year by Joachin Rodriguez, and where there was perhaps the first indication that Froome wasn't going as well in 2014 as he had been in 2013 when he swept all before him.  But the Volta is always a really tough outing, with long, mountainous stages and weather that is often extremely inclement.  Last year the conditions were particularly tough and Froome didn't seem to enjoy it all.  Given that experience it wouldn't surprise me if Froome by-passed the Volta this year to go for either the Paris-Nice or the Tirreno-Adriatico, another week long tour, which he won in his all-conquering 2013.   

With Contador going all out this year, showing his hand early by announcing his intention to go for both the Giro d'Italia (in May) and the Le Tour in July, it is important that Froome gains as much of a psychological advantage over Contador as he can.  To be honest, it's a tall order for Contador and I doubt whether he will win both, the last man to do 'the double'  being the ill-fated Marco Pantani in 1988.  All 3 of the Grand Tours now are brutal events and I cannot see Contador recovering sufficiently well to be able to take on a fresh and fit Froome, Quintana, Valverde and the rest, just a few weeks after the Giro, no matter how well he might have performed.  

However, one writes Contador off at one's peril.  For me, he has been perhaps the best cyclist of his generation, maybe the best since Indurian, and if he is fit enough to be on the start line then he is always going to be there or thereabouts at the finish.  Having won both the Giro and Le Tour before, and having already announced his future retirement after the 2016 season, Contador will be looking to his cycling legacy and thinking about what he leaves behind.  Of course, like Armstrong, he has had his troubles with performance enhancing drugs and actually had his 2010 Tour and 2011 Giro wins stripped from him.  However, the circumstances surrounding Contador's ban for clenbuterol (a steroid), the same drug infamously taken by shamed sprinter Ben Johnson at the end of the 80's, were controversial and, (I believe) were it not for Armstrong, he may well have garnered a lesser ban than the 2 years he ended up serving.  I like to believe that Contador was a bit unlucky, but either way his cycling pedigree may now be forever linked with that of his contemporary, Armstrong, and that would be unfair and unwarranted. Contador's motivation to succeed one more time before he hangs his cleats up may well be further ramped up by a desire to win over ex-fans and perennial doubters, so don't be surprised to see him pushing hard to equal the achievements of Pantani, but perhaps more pertinently, to beat Froome and the rest.  Can't wait!

Moving on from cycling I have to have a quick word about this weekends footy.  In the Premier League (PL) Chelsea stayed top, but by only 5 points now, having drawn at home to struggling Burnley, with Man City closing the gap on the leaders with a ruthlessly efficient and highly entertaining 5-0 ass-kicking of Newcastle.  The Boss's team, Man United, lost poorly to Swansea, with LVG maintaining they played well and created many chances.  I admit, I didn't see the whole match, but from what I did see I have to wholeheartedly disagree with LVG.  This season MU are struggling.  Their play is too slow, too predictable and too easy to break up.  The cumbersome going forward, clumsy at the back and only where they are because of David de Gea who has saved them more times than can be counted this year already.  They need to move the ball quicker, utilise the space they create to put teams under pressure.  MU have lots of work to do and unless they change things quickly then I can only see them sliding down the table even further.

Back in the week with a mid-week report on the Champions League and we also take a look ahead to the start of the F1 season in just 19 days time.

See you then

Negrito

Local history: The story of Old Domeno

Domeño Viejo

Spain is rich in it’s cultural and historical heritage.  Hemmingway’s vision of Spain, abundant in fiestas and bullfighting, is hard to resist, but for me the largest cache of Spanish bullion lay in the fraught and ever-changing history of the Iberian peninsula, and so it is with this in mind that I bring you the first of (hopefully) many articles on sites of historical interest in and around Valencia.  

It is hard to drive any distance here and not be confronted with a crumbling castle on a distant hill top or the remains of an old defensive wall battered into submission in a battle long forgotten.  Domeño Viejo is one such ruin that might well catch the eye of a conscientious observer.  A friend, Javi, first told me of the plight of the old village one hot afternoon as we swam in the Loriguilla dam and it makes quite a tale and inspired me to find out more.

The crumbling ruins of the old castle. 

The ancient pueblo of Old Domeño has been interred in a watery grave beneath the Loriguilla dam, some 45kms or so up the CV35 from Valencia, since the valley was flooded in the late-1970‘s.  All that now remains are the ruins of the old church and castle, both of which escaped the fate of the town by virtue of their more lofty locations.  Both still sit several hundred metres above where the pueblo once was. However, even these remains take some searching out, but once found the views alone more than reward the avid explorer.  The views, from the castle in particular, are absolutely stunning and on a clear day give one a 360° panoramic vista that can take the breath away.

A small sign, easily missed, indicates the old Church yard.

Both the church and the castle can be found off the CV-35 about 10km beyond Losa del Obispo in the direction of Ademuz.  The tracks, turning left of the CV35, are accessible by car but rough, so not to be attempted in wet weather unless you have a 4X4, but then a clear day is best anyway, for the view if nothing else.  The church can easily be missed with only the arched gateway and one perimeter wall remaining.  However, the site is marked by a small sign and, if you get out of the car, it is possible to peer over this wall and see the ancient graveyard, with its’ traditional burial caskets, built one on top of the other.  Now all empty, at one time these stone carved sites would have held the bodies of the local gentry.

Archaeological evidence suggests that this valley was occupied as early as the 4th or 5th Century B.C. with flint tools having been unearthed in local caves.  Later Bronze Age settlers also left behind ceramic shards to hint at localised cultural advances.  From about 500 B.C. much of what is now Valenciana was settled by the Edetani, a tribe of Iberians and the Loriguilla valley was no different.  The Edetani, who counted Lliria as their capital, were successful on a localised scale and their impact was felt all across the region.  Following the First Punic War (247-241B.C) Hamilcar Barca (Hannibal’s father) led an expedirion to the Iberian Peninsula in 237 B.C. founding the city of Carthage (named after his beloved home city, also called Cathage) on the Mediterranean coast on the site of the modern day city, Cartageña. The Romanisation of the Iberian peninsula began sometime in the 3rd Century B.C.  But following the defeat of Hannibal (in Italy) and the Carthaginians in the Iberian peninsula (c.206 B.C.) the Second Punic War came to a close and the Romans began a long war of attrition against the determined Iberian tribes determined to bring Iberia under unified Roman rule.  But the Iberian tribes put up a resolute defence and despite the centuries of repression that followed the whole peninsula never truly came under complete Roman rule, largely due to the unending mountainous terrain (very few Roman roads were constructed here unlike elsewhere) and the subsequent difficulty with maintaining adequate supply and communication lines.  That, and the often long distances between settlements of any size made life difficult for the invading Romans, but also contributed to the relative isolation of the various Iberian kingdoms, leading much later on to the distinct identities, cultures and languages we still see today across the peninsula, facts that no doubt served to undermine the collective Spanish psyche nullifying that unified sense of nationalism found elsewhere in Europe until very recently.    

In the autumn of 409, as Roman influence and power began to fade across the Mediterranean and a year before the Goth, Alaric, sacked Rome, three tribes, the Alans, the Sueves and the Vandals crossed the passes and cols of the Pyrenees to enter the Iberian peninsula from their homelands in Aquitaine, perhaps by invitation of the Roman garrisons guarding said routes (another story in itself).  These new invaders finally displaced the Iberian tribes and by about 480 had all but subdued and conquered the peninsula (apart from Galicia).  Their reign continued until 711 when the next wave of invaders, the Berbers, under Arab control of General Tariq, ousted the Goths and began the Islamic occupation of the peninsula that would last the best part of a 1000 years leaving behind a unique cultural and historical heritage that still resonates across Spain and Portugal to this day.

From the top the views are amazing.

It was the Muslims who first built a castle on a small hilltop above Old Domeño, though evidence of that is now hard to see given the ramshackle state of the ruin.  The castle, sitting atop a small flat-topped hill with panoramic views all round, would have been easily defensible if attacked.  The approaches are steep and rocky and any attackers would have been assailed from on high by archers, slingers and anyone capable of throwing a rock, making it a dangerous and difficult place to breach. Today however, if one climbs up the roped-off track to the castle ruins, it becomes clear that for any dwellers there, this would not have been the place to sit out any sort of lengthy siege.  The castle itself must have been small and pokey, with little storage space for food, water and arms and would surely have been extremely cold in the depths of winter due to its’ highly exposed position.

Despite these potential drawbacks, the castle remained occupied even after the Muslims were defeated and the Christian armies of Don Jaime I of Aragon occupied the region in 1238.  Old Domeño then came under the remit of the Chelva Manor, owned by Pedro Fernandez de Azagra, Lord of Albarracín.

The castle was partially renovated during the First Carlist War in the 1830’s but appears to have fallen into disrepair once again soon afterwards and now all that remains are a few walls and fallen rocks that merely hint at the building that once dominated the landscape.

The ruins are far from spectacular (I must be honest) but the views alone make it a worthwhile trip and climb, and if like me, you love your history, then to stand in amongst it is reward enough.  Afterwards, one can drive down through the tranquil Loriguilla valley and find any number of beautiful, deserted, shady spots to swim and cool off on a hot day.  Take a picnic and a good book, along with your camera and imagination, then after a spot of exploring, drift off in your mind to time less complicated and dream of the romance of times gone by.  

Mini the Moocher - Travel Correspondent...back soon with more tourist stuff!!!

A poem: My Fair Arse

Just a quickie poem here to keep you going!  Back with more very soon.

NN

My Fair Arse

T’with but a twinkle I did pass,

A monster turd from my fair arse,

And howsoever thou shalt push

There is no way with that tiny tush

That you can e’er match nor surpass

That monster turd from my fair arse.

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Weekend Sports Snippets with Negrito

Hey Sports Fans!

Just a quick round-up cos I go into fits of apoplexy if I don't talk about sport at least once every 12 hours!  So this is more of a medical emergency than a sports report....and perhaps you should read it as such!

So here we go!  Firstly, the Bosses team, ManU, who despite a 3-1 win at home over lowly Leicester, they just didn't look convincing to me.  Over 70% possession and it should have been converted to a lot more than 3 goals.  In the second half they were just going through the motions and in the end they almost let Leicester back into the game.  Under Fergie the peddle would have been firmly to the metal for the whole 90 minutes and at NN we are beginning to question whether LVG is the man to take the team back to the top.  But, time is of the essence and he needs that time to ensure that he can be judged fairly.  We shall see and reserve ours till the end of the season.

Down the road at Stamford Bridge Chelsea and ManCity drew 1 a-piece, though Mourinho's Chelsea would have been more happy with that result than ManCity who dominated the play with David Silva again pulling the strings in the absence of Yaya Toure.  Thus far this season, these two sides have been head and shoulders above everyone else in the PL and the title should be between them, though Arsene Wenger's Arsenal are now starting to come on strong (they kicked Villa's butt 5-0 this afternoon)  and may yet have a say.

The 4th and final Champions League spot should be between ManU, Southampton, Spurs and possibly Liverpool, with ManU perhaps being the slight favourites to grab the place because, despite their relatively under par performances, they do seem to have the knack of not losing matches unlike the others.

In Spain La Liga progresses as it does every year with a dogfight between the big three, Barca, Real and Athletico.  Real hold the edge at the moment and remain 4 points clear, though since winning the World Champs just after Christmas they have gone off the boil.  However, the real news here is the possible rift between Messi and Luis Enrique, the Barca manager, and where Messi will be playing next year.  Of course, the Boss would love him to come to United but realistically if he becomes available his most likely destination may well be Madrid.  Watch this space.

Valencia, our local side here at NN, are going well this year for the first time in a few years, perhaps due to the investment of Chinese businessman, Peter Lim, who has given the club liquidity once more, and now they look to be a reasonable bet for the 4th spot in La Liga and the final Spanish Champions League place next season.  

Moving onto Formula 1, this weekend has just seen the first practise session of the year in Jerez, Andalucia, with ex-Champion Sebastian Vettel posting the quickest time of the day, but it was Mercedes' Nico Rosberg, last years runner's up to Lewis Hamilton, who claimed most of the plaudits by completing a phenomenal 157 laps (opposed to just 60 by Vettel) to underline their massive reliability, such a key factor in their success last season.  Hamilton takes over the car on Monday to see what he can manage.

And finally, to Melbourne and an incredible fight for the Men's title between Andy Murray and the unstoppable Novak Djokovic, who ran out the winner in 4 uncompromising sets.  The first 2 sets both went to tie-breaks, Novak taking the opener and Andy the second set, with both players hitting the ball with an intensity and vigour I've rarely seen.  But such was the pace of the match it was inevitable that the standard would drop and sadly it was Murray who faltered first and longest, despite some early physical scares from Djokovic who appeared to injure the thumb on his racket hand, then his ankle and had entered the match (possibly) suffering from the effects of a virus.  But in the end he proved to be the tougher player mentally and eventually steamrollered Murray 6-0 in the 4th, a sad way for Murray to end what had a fantastic match. Huge congratulations to Novak, now an 8 time Grand Slam winner, and commiserations to Murray.  His time in Melbourne will surely come. 

And that's me for today!  Phew!

  

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As the world descends into chaos, I ask 'is the internet speeding our way to the dark side?'

Sunday Editorial from The Boss

I'm no spring chicken and I've seen my fair share of tragedy, personal and public, big and small, and I wonder how much more I will see, how much more I can take.  I'm an avid twitterer (you can tweet us by clicking the button below).  I think it's an amazing tool, but a quick trawl through the tweets of the major news networks (sadly we're not yet amongst them) and it's clear to see that the world around us is in danger of descending into moral turpitude and chaos.  I have no doubt that in broad terms social media is a good thing, as no doubt is the internet.  But, and it's a big BUT, is social media speeding our demise into the dark side?

It's too late, of course now, to go back.  One cannot rewind the clock as much it may be morally correct or socially responsible, were it possible.  One has to ask whether these innovations were set loose in the public domain without first being made totally clear what the aims of the various medium were and what their social responsibilities should be.  It's easy to say that Facebook, or Twitter, or any of the social media sites/apps cannot be held responsible for what is posted by their clientele, and whilst that may be true, is it right?  Is it morally correct?  Did Mark Zuckerberg foresee that Facebook would be used to radicalise so many unhappy, lost and disillusioned youngsters?  Did he foresee that Facebook would be used by extremists to peddle their selective versions of hate and misdeeds, broadcasting them to anyone willing to listen, to anyone with access to a search engine and the time to track them down?  Only he can answer.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that these innovative individuals should in any way be held accountable for what gets published via their media...or am I?

In truth, not really.  But I do think there was too little time spent thinking about where, given the time and inevitable and ongoing digital evolution, they could be steered.  Should there have been some sort of pre-legislation governing what could and could not be broadcast?  But censorship brings it's own arguments, for and against freedom of speech, etc, such that in the end it never really works effectively and often sends things underground (to the so-called dark web, for example).  In which case I revert back to the owners of these sites, and to the innovators; should they be more discerning about what, who and how people publicise their media?  I'm not a lawyer and wouldn't even begin to understand the legal realities of how that might work, but morally, surely they have a responsibility to the parents of abused kids, the victims of suicide bombers radicalised via chatrooms or social media, or the victims of so-called revenge sex.  The list goes on and on.  And often the administrators say that there too much data posted every minute of every day to keep a check on it.  But I'm sorry, that just doesn't wash.  Try posting a picture of the Missus topless on a beach on your page and see how quickly you get pulled up!

I was watching the news today (sadly I should have taken more note of which channel I was watching, but I was on Twitter at the same time and thus distracted!) when this young kid came on.....obviously a very bright kid.....who'd invented a gun that he planned to sell over the web.  Okay, nothing new there you say.  But you'd be wrong.  This gun is made of paper, is more than capable of killing and can be printed by anyone with a 3-D printer!  What the fuck!?!  

When asked what he would think if someone went on killing spree with one of his paper guns, he shrugged and said, basically, 'not my problem!  I'm not responsible for what someone else could do with the gun!'  I was dumb-founded.  All he was interested in was making money!  If he was my kid I would have kicked him all over creation for being such a prat!  Why couldn't he use his obvious talents and invent an MRI scanner, for example, that could be 3-D printed and actually help someone rather than putting a gun into the hands of anyone with £300 to spend on a printer!  I'm lost for words!  And what's to stop him?  

Nothing!  Nothing at all!

And when someone takes the paper bits onto a plane, assembles the weapon and brings the plane down or much, much worse, what then? 

"Well, so long as they paid their bill, then what do I care?"  

How can this happen?  Something has gone badly wrong with society when making money becomes more important than social and moral responsibility.  And do you know what, I find it all horribly depressing!  

Of course, the internet isn't the devil incarnate, but it does make one wonder.  

I firmly believe that the vast, vast majority of people in the world are good, reasonable and hugely tolerant. Throughout history Wars and conflicts have been waged by strong minded individuals who subvert the minds and opinions of those weaker than themselves, turning neighbour against neighbour, friend against friend, race against race, religion against religion, and the rest of us just trundle blithely along, pulling triggers or pushing the buttons that launch bombs because we're told 'it's the right thing to do,' whichever side of the fence you are! Do unto others, but do it first, and do it better (or should that be 'do it worse).  

Pick the morality out of that!

Foreign Policy magazine is, for me, an amazing and largely impartial resource, but my word, it's hard to get through the pages on their site.  The immense horrors that man commits against man is there for all to see (e.g. The Abdication of Moral Responsibility) and it makes shocking, yet illuminating reading.  

I am a firm believer in freedom, all freedoms, but freedom should go hand in hand with responsibility and we should have a collective hand in that responsibility.  We need to find a way between the peace-loving peoples of the world, to join hands and just say 'no!  We've had enough of the mindless slaughter!' 

This world is big enough for all of us to find our own space and live our lives as we, as individuals, wish to live our lives.  Gives Sunni Muslims their own homeland, as we have the Jews, give another to the Shi-ites and to the Kurds and to the Palestinians, another to the Catholics and so on and so on, and if never the twain meet then so be it, but if we have all that we need (and let's be clear, there is more than enough of everything to go round) then surely we can get along in peace and friendship and not feel the need to take what is not ours just because they are different from us.  Instead of Wars and conflict let our champions fight it out on the sports field and then, at the end, let the winners and the victors shake hands, drink from the same cup and then go home to their families, happy, replete and safe, as it should be.

I leave you in hope........

    

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In Tribute to Winston Churchill. The Greatest Briton of all time.

Today we commerate the 50th anniversary of the State funeral of Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, the man voted by BBC2 viewers as the greatest Briton ever.  As hu-mans go, Churchill was certainly an extraordinarily large figure and as far as this Canine correspondent goes, he deserves all the accolades being heaped upon him once again decades after his death.

For me, born only 4 hu-man years ago, Churchill is somewhat of an enigma, as he is I'm sure to many 21st Century children.  That he is of a bygone age is not in doubt.  Jeremy Paxman has said in today's Independent that he wouldn't get elected today if he were to stand and as polemical as that statement may be, I think I have to agree.  I have read extensively about Churchill, his times and his doings, and have an avid fascination for Churchillian times.  He was perhaps the last great British Statesman and I doubt we shall ever see his like again, but he was a man of his age.  For a Democratically elected PM he was much more of a dictator than any PM could ever be today.  It really was Churchill's way or the highway!  He held views that were already old-fashioned even at the peak of his power.  He was against suffrage for women; he held racist views of many of the peoples, especially Indians, of the Commonwealth and was a raging alcoholic. He was quite simply a Victorian dinosaur, the last of a dying age and when he died the British Empire died with him.  He was, in the end, much more of an iconic British stalwart than perhaps any politician before or since, perhaps associated more with the Empire and it's fading values than even the monarchy itself.

Churchill's life reads like a boy's own adventure and there are many great biographies out there that illustrate that point clearly.  That anyone could be born into such privilege today and still live the life that he led and have the drive to achieve what he achieved seems preposterous; aristocrat, war correspondent, cavalry officer, MP for over 60 years, PM not once, but twice, First Lord of the Admiralty (also twice), Nobel Prize winning author, award winning artist, raconteur, wit and speech-maker extraordinaire, he was a man apart and I for one am proud to say that he was British.  I have no doubt that without Winston we would not be here today and the world would be a very different place.

When Chamberlain appointed Lord Halifax Foreign Secretary with the remit of 'appeasing' Nazi Germany with peace overtures, it was Churchill who stood alone shouting his defiance when all about him were for suing for peace.  Even after May 1940 and Churchill's rise to power, the pro-Nazi appeasers, including Sir Samuel Hoare (latterly Churchill's Spanish Ambassador), 'Rab' Butler, Lord Brocket and the Duke of Bedford among many others, continued to send out peace feelers despite Churchill's direct instructions to Anthony Eden, in his second term as Foreign Secretary (following on from Halifax), that any German approaches be met with 'absolute silence.'

In fact 'feelers' continued to be put out throughout the War from both sides, though how much Churchill knew about any British proposals is unknown, as is whether the many such British 'feelers' were serious offers or merely deceptions designed to forestall Hitler in his ambitions.

Plainly the appeasers didn't get their way.  In Churchill they had found an opponent with a steely resolve, as Britain had found a leader who could inspire and motivate them as no-one else in British history ever had.  In some ways Churchill was as much a dictator as Hitler.  He was firm in his opinions, direct and honest to a fault, and not a man to suffer fools.  But unlike Hitler he was manic in his defence of freedom and civil liberties (as he saw them).  He was also a visionary, speaking as early as 1946 on Europe as a single trading entity, in fact taking his ideas one step further when he envisioned a single parliament for the whole world, something we have yet to see pass, but never say never.  He was a man who said as he found and one always knew exactly where he stood on any issue, unlike many of today's politicians who find it all but impossible to answer a question with candour, directness and honesty.  It was this honesty that many believe led him to defect to the Liberals, returning much later on to his beloved Conservatives, when their collective policies became once again, more closely akin to his own.  That he was a dinosaur is not in dispute.  He never owned a television, in fact never even watched one, regarding the novel invention with a wary eye.  In some ways it was good that he passed when he did, because I cannot imagine him dealing with today's intrusive press corps (though I'm sure he would have been just as devout in his defence of freedom of the press, so much in the news the past few weeks), or with twitter, or the internet.  Without Hitler, there would not have been a Churchill as we remember him today.   And without Churchill there would not be a Britain.  

And to all his many detractors today I say that this is the man who is largely responsible for their ability to be able to criticise.  Without the freedoms he fought for on our behalf we wouldn't be able to say our piece, to come and go as we please, to take our holidays whenever and (mostly) wherever we wish.  Of course, he didn't do it single handedly.  Without the millions who laid down their lives, perhaps inspired to put themselves in harm's way by Churchill himself, we would not be living the lives we do today.  There would have been no swinging 60's or hippy 70's, no punk rock, no modern cinema, no contemporary literature, no X factor on a Saturday evening.  So when we espouse the freedoms we cherish so dearly today in the West, and quite rightly so, we should do well to remember that without Winston Churchill none of them would have come to pass.  

Rest in Peace.

Winston Churchill 1874-1965

Bibliography

Hess, Hitler & Churchill; Peter Padfield, 2013
Churchill; Roy Jenkins, 1988
The Churchill Factor; Boris Johnson, 2014

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Syriza in Greece, Podemos in Spain. Is this where we are headed? All this & mid week Sports as well...

Negrito here with a mid-week Sports Special from Melbourne.  I flew in last night after more than 24 hours in the air and boy! my arms are aching (boom boom!) but it was all worth it!  Whilst Andy Murray's semi-final at the Aussie Open wasn't the best contest I've ever seen just being here in the sunshine puts some extra sheen on his victory for me.  Tomas Berdych began strongly, looking imperious in his first 3 service games, not dropping a point and it seemed the odds against a Murray victory were widening.  At the same time Murray was struggling to retain serve with each of his service game going to at least one deuce.  To be fair I'm not overly familiar with Berdych other than being aware that he was perhaps a bit of bogey player for Murray on the circuit, and there was a bit of extra edge with Murray's school friend and ex-assistant coach, Daniel Vallevrdu, now being retained on team Berdych.  However, even as he fired himself into a first set lead it was Berdych for me, who looked the more precarious of the two players.  In the second set it was Murray who finally found his feet as he stormed through the est 6-0 to even the match up.  

As the match continued neither player seemed able to maintain any sort of consistency with unforced errors peppering the play of both Berdych and Murray.  But it was Murray who gradually applied the pressure as Berdych appeared to falter psychologically, his play and his demeanour seeming ever more fragile to me.  In the end Murray triumphed to put himself into a 4th Aussie Open Final.  As yet his opponent is unknown, the second semi taking place tomorrow morning between Stan Warwrinka, last years winner, and World No.1 Novak Djokovic.  Murray must be hoping for a repeat of their last two meeting here which both ended being marathon contests.  With an extra day's recovery Murray must be feeling pretty good about the final whoever he plays, but he will need to be much more consistent than he was today if he wants to come out on top on Sunday.

Make sure you don't miss it on BBC1 08.15am.  Be there or be ....absent.

Now over to my sissy, Lola, for something completely different!

_____________________________________

Here in Spain we are heading towrads elections this year in May, the same month as they happen in the UK, though in neither country have manimals achieved suffrage, something I would certainly put right if I gained power!!  In the meantime we shall express our opinions publicly and hope that in time things change for the better!

Our in depth knowledge of Spanish politics is, in truth, not in depth (not least because of the Boss's imperfect Spanish) but that doesn't stop us having an opinion and getting involved.  Since Franco died in 1975 Spanish party politics has been largely dominated by either the Popular Party (PP) or the Socialists (PSOE) with the PP currently in power with Mariano Rajoy (commonly known as 'the Tramp' in this household) as their party leader and Head of State.

When the PP swept to power almost 5 years ago Spain was in a horrible mess; high and rapidly rising unemployment, a massive budget deficit and an economy in deep depression.  Now, as the next elections draw close things are marginally better.  Last months unemployment figures showed the biggest drop since the current financial crisis began but remains high at just under 24%, whilst the World Bank have set a revised growth forecast for the Spanish economy next year at 2%, interestingly a fraction higher than that forecast for the UK.

However, from where we sit in the 'campo' (or countryside) things still look pretty glum.  In the UK profitability, jobs and prosperity return to London first after crises and from there filter down to the rest of the country. Eventually!  In Spain it seems things run a similar course.  Speaking last year with some monied Londoners over on holiday they were only too happy to tell us how their daughter and friends were 'doing so well' working in Madrid for a Spanish TV company and they seemed to be under the wholly mistaken misapprehension that Spain was booming!  I was laughing (ironically) because it amazes me sometimes how well money insulates those who have it from those who don't, but even so these were not what I would have said were stupid or unusually naive people.  They merely pull the blinds down, as they most likely do at home in London, to the suffering and poverty around them.  "Oh I say, but my daughter says everyone in Spain is doing terribly well!"  Yes, maybe, but your daughter goes to expensive bars and restaurants where the vast majority of us wouldn't even get over the threshold let alone be able to pay for a starter!  As hu-mans you mate and socialise assortatively (i.e. we marry and socialise within our own social and economic register) so your daughters chances of meeting an unemployed tractor driver in some fancy bistro in Madrid are practically zero.  So, if you have a job, you tend to mix with others who are similarly employed.  In the same way if you're unfortunate enough to be out of work, you tend to hang around with others in a similar predicament.

Here in the hinterlands of Valenciana I know only a hand full of people who actually have jobs.  Everyone else loiters around the village bars (God alone only knows how they can afford it, but they do!  But, in truth I can't ask God, cos I don't really think he exists, but if anyone knows then he would know....if he was real), drinking the occasional terceo (bottle of beer), carajillo (brandy & coffee) or just plain old coffee if funds don't run to the brandy!  And they are all hopelessly pessimistic about ever working again.  Something I touched on last week (see blog entry 18/1/15 'Children are our future, so blah blah blah') was high youth unemployment all over Europe and here in Spain the problem is no different.  The Spanish nuclear family, traditionally so strong, is collapsing because for the first time the U25's are leaving home, leaving their families to go abroad and find work.  And what's more, they won't come back, or if they do, they won't come back the same.  Discontent is rife and widespread, and to be honest, it's a shame!  Hopelessness is the new by-word for what the future holds.  But it's not just Spain.

In Greece they now have the newly elected Syriza, a coalition of ultra left-wing parties that have swung to power on the back of promises to end the severe austerity imposed by the country's huge to debt to the EEC and the IMF.  Now for me, as a political initiate and relative non-entity, it beggars belief that a nation can so publicly announce their intention to snub what they owe.  The Greeks wish a return to the good times.  They are not alone.  But when push comes shove someone's gotta pay, and it seems that Greece and Syriza are looking to all of you non-Greek hu-mans to pay for their excesses.  And it seems, not just for their excesses yesterday, but for todays, and for the future as well.  I just cannot understand how such things can even be contemplated let alone be enough to get Alexis Tsipras's feet into the slippers of power in Athens!

In the run up to Syriza's victory we saw Pablo Iglesias, leader of Podemos in Spain, drumming up support (in Greek, which I must say, impressed me no end) for Tsipras.  Two years ago Podemos didn't exist. Iglesias is no doubt a visionary and a very capable, if not unusual politician (his ponytailed look is a bit of a departure I feel from the norm) and he is mobilising massive support from a disillusioned and lost populous. Podemos is the sister party of Syriza, an anti-austerity party winning much acclaim with the latest polls putting him 3rd behind the PP & PSOE, but only just.  And whilst I understand the appeal, especially from the disillusioned young and unemployed, I find it difficult to fall in line and swallow the message because I just cannot see how it can work.

Come the election in May we may well find Podemos winning out.  I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised. But why is it that Iglesias and his supporters, like those of Tsipras in Greece, feel that they, above everyone else, deserves to live the high-life, earn the money, avoid the taxes (because that's largely how the Greek and Spanish economies have got into this mess) and get everyone else to pay for their health care, pension funds and infrastructure?  Instead maybe they should be concentrating their energies on putting a stop to the Black economy and the innate corruption found in Mediterranean politics, because making a nation pay their own way, as they do everywhere else, is surely a much more profitable exercise than reneging on what you owe and giving those who have supported you the finger!

Lola Lush
Political Correspondent NN

Are Wild Boar (Sus scrofa) more or less social than your average MP (Homo sapiens rhetoricus)?

My remit here at NN is to be the Social Correspondent reporting on red carpet events such as movie premiere's, social gatherings and wot-not.  However, January in the Spanish mountains is not exactly a whirlwind of social engagements and high brow conversation!  Trying to discuss the do's and don't's of dining etiquette with a wild boar who has come down from the high mountains looking for, and I quote, 'a bit of scram,' is an exercise in futility!  These old boars have no table manners whatsoever!  And what's more trying to get the Boss to splash out and send me the Oscars is a similarly redundant exercise!  So, I'm a Social Correspondent without any parties!  What is a girl to do?

Nevertheless, one is a resourceful little pussy, if nothing else!  And if there's a good time to be had, then I'm just the girl to sort it out!!  But I find myself in somewhat of dilemma.  Social Correspondent I may be, but I'm only a year and half old so Dad (that's the Boss to you and me!) worries inordinately about me when I am out and about.  I can hear him sometimes calling me in for brekky (he's just got up....whilst I've been up all night doing....doing.....ah ah......and here we reach the crux of the dilemma) and I feel sort of obliged to attend and eat some fish or meat, just to be polite...you know how it is.......when the truth is I've been gorging on raw lizard, mouse souffle, mantis ettoufe and chilled rain water all night, but if I told Dad....sorry, the Boss.......if I told the Boss that he'd do his nut!  And why?  Well, hang on........I'm just checking if he's about!

Nope!  He appears to be having his nap!  Poor old boy!  So....come a bit closer....I'll talk quietly so as not wake him up!  This is the general routine when it gets close to bedtime.  The Boss shuts down all the office PC's, brushes his teeth, then gets us all ready for bed.  The Canine manimals go to their pen and us Feline manimals settle down on sofas, cushions, spare beds......as us pussies are want to do.  And then as soon as Dad's asleep I'm off....out the window, party gear on under my PJ's and I'm off looking for fun till I hear the old man calling me in for brekky!  If he asks I feign innocence, "What me?  No, no!  I just woke up early and wanted some fresh air!"  Of course, I purr like mad and rub round his ankles, and he believes anything I say.  "Sorry, what's that Dad?  No, no!  I wouldn't be able to stay awake all night.  I'm still a kitten-manimal, honestly!"  And this is why I have to find out of the way nooks and crannies to sleep in during the day!  If asked, I'm searching for inspiration for my column......on the inside of my eyelids!!!! lol

So with no social engagements to report on I'll spend my time anyway drawing up a comparison table between the behaviour of British MP's during PM Q's and my low brow friends from above, the wild boar!!

The first time I saw PM Q's I was stunned by the social depravity on show; all that jeering, shouting down and generally raucous behaviour reminded me of a dinner party I'd attended one night.  As you can guess, it was Vinnie and Shazza, our resident boars who'd invited us round for a bite.  And to be fair, that was all there was for us......I mean I'm always keen to try new things but once you've had one almond, you've pretty much had them all!  And on the evening in question, it was almonds for starters, main and dessert!  My sissy, Dijon Dudette was on the verge of tears...not because she was hungry....but because she couldn't stop laughing at the noise Vinnie, in particular, made when attacking his food.  "Sounds like an old fashioned hoover, but it (i.e. the food!) disappears up his snout faster than dust up a Dyson!"

Nevertheless, comparisons abound....so here we go!

Table 1.  Behavioural and Social Compatibility Comparison between Wild Boar (Sus scrofa) & domesticated Politicians (Homo Sapiens rhetoricus).  Each behaviour or social correlate is scored out of 10, the lower the rating the higher the Sociability Index.

	Boar	MP’s
Ability to eat food without snorting	9	7
Dinner conversation subject matter	7	7
Frequency of bitch-slapped marital & public partners	8	3
Question avoidance & bullshitometer reading	2	9
General believability when speaking	3	8

Well, the evidence doesn't lie!  With a Sociability Index (SI) of 6.8 MP's are significantly less agreeable socially than wild boar (SI 5.8).  On most categories the boar and the MP's scored pretty evenly.  For example the ability of both subjects to rouse an interesting dinner conversation from scratch was poor.  No surprise there I'd say!  

But in 2 categories the MP's suffered badly (see Table 1) and these 2 scores are the main reason why the MP's SI is higher than that of the boar.  The first category is that of Bitch Slapping frequency.  To be clear here we're talking about verbal bitch-slappings and not physical abuses.  The data shows that in a domestic situation MP's are no more likely than a wild boar to chastise their respective partner/families, but once those data are combined with that from a public arena the degree of MP bitch-slapping rises dramatically, largely I would suggest because of the hooliganistic and juvenile behaviour they tend to exhibit during PM's Q's! Further, one can also see quite clearly from the Table that the area your average MP suffers most by comparison to a wild boar is on 'question avoidance' and the amount of bullshit they have to espouse in order to sound remotely believable.  The wild boar by contrast scores highly in this category and 3 times less likely to try and bullshit you.  The general feeling was that if you asked a wild boar a question they were likely to hit you straight back with a direct answer. For example, when asked how they deal with delays at Medical Facilities (Vets or Doctors) the boar replied unequivocally, "I'd head butt the f****r!  Problem solved!" Your average MP when confronted with the same question tended to waffle, quote irrelevant statistics, knock the opposition and generally try and attempt to baffle us with bullshit.

So there we have it!  Quite a shock I know for some of you, but the facts are that a wild boar is infinitely more agreeable than an MP.