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Showing posts with label Adam Richman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adam Richman. Show all posts

Thursday, 21 January 2016

Masked avenger Donald Trump rides to the rescue with sidekick Sarah Palin to kick ISIS ass!

Well howdy boys!  I’m back on the Donny wagon and Boy! don’t it feel good, because I’m a big fan of Donald Donny ‘don’t you just lurve my fly-away hair’ Trump!  And what’s more it seems I’m not alone!

I’m dumb-founded that our Donny is still the Republican front runner and now he’s got the ex-Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, whistling Dixie ‘long side him and don’t they just look pretty as a picture together?  Both smiling sweetly.  Both pro-gun.  Both pro-2nd Amendment.  Both gonna be pissed off when Clinton wins!  I hope….

And as much as I’d like Hilary Clinton to not only, of course win the Democratic nomination, but to then follow it up by trouncing Trump in the election proper, I've got a sneaking feeling it ain't gonna be that easy.  American politics is strange animal and making a prediction so far in advance is dodgy at best.  So I won’t be doing that!  Instead I’m going to look at potentially rather an odd parallel between this on-going, fledgling Presidential campaign and that of 2000 between Al Gore And George Jr.

Now, as we all know, Al Gore was defeated by ‘Dubya’ and, as you may recall, the world was then led into 8 glorious years of gung-ho, Republican ‘yeh-hah politics and foreign policy the price of which, both economically and militarily, the world is still paying.  And no, I’m not forgetting that 9/11 brought on the War on terror, but that is an argument/discussion for another day, so for now it’s shelved; just run with me here……

The 2000 campaign came In the wake of the Columbine massacre in April 1999, with Gore subsequently losing one of the closest and most controversial Presidential races in decades, some say as a direct consequence of his intent to push gun control measures and in so doing galvanising into action the most powerful and influential lobby in Washington; the NRA.  

Who can forget Charlton Heston, then President of the NRA, at their July 2000 Convention, as he made his chilling and highly creepy ‘my cold dead hands’ speech, growling ‘The NRA are back!’ and in so doing putting an end to Gore’s contentions.  

If we’d listened more closely at the time we might have heard Dubya’s War machine starting up.  

Now, more than a decade later we have another Democrat, Obama, once again pushing gun control measures after a 2015 in the US that saw on average, more than one mass shooting a day.  The mind boggles!  Truly!

Obama is plainly an emotional man, as witnessed by his tears for the dead children of Newtown, and consequently this is an issue he feels strongly about.  He’s a family man and I understand that perfectly.  Outside of the US most of us understand his feelings perfectly and recoil in horror together with Obama every time another mass shooting occurs.  Most non-Americans just don’t understand this obsession with Americans and guns, and somehow freedom always seems to get jammed in there somewhere, along with the 2nd Amendment and ‘the right bear arms,’ and we non-Americans just cannot see the how freedom, guns and dead children can go together now matter how you mix them up.  Ultimately, we empathise with Obama’s plight and sympathise with those who’ve suffered and see the only way to make the equation anything like balanced is to remove guns from it, or at least make them harder to get.  It’s just common-sense.  

Afetr all, the right to hold a gun doesn’t make any one man more free than another who chooses not to hold one.  It just makes them more dangerous.  

What have all these gun-toting red-necks got to be scared of anyway?  An even playing field perhaps?  But the facts remain that the vast majority of US gun-related deaths occur in black neighbourhoods, not in the white.  If the guns are taken out of the hands of the streets gangs, the mentally ill, and the criminal element then surely that is good thing.  Right?  No-one has ever said that any good, mentally sound, coherent and honest person may not own a gun.  In fact, if I’d want anyone to have a gun, it would be that person!  And when you wash away all the jargon I think that’s basically what Obama would like things to be like.  And for me that all sounds quite reasonable.

So can Obama use any Executive power he may have with which to push through any changes?

I don’t think so.  The Republican dominated Congress and the NRA are already galvanised and according to the Washington Post this may be the beginning of problems for Hilary Clinton similar to those experienced by Gore in 2000.  

And after all is said and done, what was America’s response to Obama’s proposal to use his Executive powers to curb the gun laws and to 20 dead children?  

The biggest ever retail sales day on guns!  The day after the Newtown killings!  

Once again, the mind boggles!

And now we have Sarah Palin endorsing our Donny because, and I quote, we want ‘a  Commander-in-Chief who will let our warriors do their job and go kick ISIS ass.  To secure our borders and secure our jobs,’  
Here's our Sarah....looking remarkably like Adam
Richman!  Strange that!  Sorry Adam!

Well, I think she was pitching for the Secretary of State’s position in Donny’s putative government by the way she was calling Iran ‘the enemy’ and promising to kick ISIS ass.  Presumably as SecState this would be easily accomplished by riding rough-shod over any international borders, trampling areas of political sensitivity and shitting on Middle-Eastern feelings and territory.  

That’s right folks!  Let’s make America great again!

Let’s endorse a foreign policy that will engender hatred for all things American.  I shudder think of the possibility of a President Donny sitting down over canapés with Vladimir Putin trying to sort the Syrian problem out.  

Now there’s a couple of really understanding fellas, you’d have to say!  I can see it now…...‘No, you go first Vlad, please!’  ‘Oh no, I couldn’t Donny.  You must go first.  Is Russian tradition.’

I don’t think so!  I think it’s Nukes at dawn and fuck everybody else!  That’s what I think.   


Thursday, 22 January 2015

Our first Restaurant Review.....almost!

Since the inauguration of NN we have covered a wide range of subjects from politics to manimal welfare to the arts to sport and much more, but as yet we haven't had a restaurant review and being the resident food critic I think this is way overdue and I am here to right this outrageous wrong.

However, that said, there does remain one small obstacle to my righting this terrible oversight.  I think my colleagues, and the Boss in particular, were extracting the urine when they appointed me restaurant critic for NN.  I mean, as much as I would love to visit a restaurant and comment on the grub, I'm a feline manimal and try as I might I can't get in!  For some strange reason when I start speaking to them their first reaction is to get a bit freaked out!  If I didn't know better I'd say they'd never seen a talking manimal before, let alone one who can speak Spanish as well as English!  But since I know that's not such an oddity (all us manimals here speak several languages.....take Negrito for example, he's trilingual; English, Spanish and the universal language of 'lurve') this cannot be the problem.  Anyway, I chewed the problem over whilst I sat and devoured my 3 o'clock snack - a platter of cold meats, 1/2 kg blue cheese, 1/2 kg non-blue cheese, 2 whole trout, 1L milk, a bag of Haribo Teddy Bears and a bar of Dairy Crunch; not much really, but it was only a snack! - and then it came to me!

You see, the problem wasn't so much that I couldn't get in to the restaurants, as they all closed the doors when I got near!  "Why?", I hear you cry.  "Why won't you let Sonny Tiger in?"  

I'll tell you why, shall I.  That ha-ha, ever-so-funny, hilarious Boss and my so-called friends had set me up!  As each restaurant closed it's doors I was able to glance behind me and spy the NN team chuckling behind their disguises.  Yes, their disguises!!!  Did they really think I wouldn't spot Rudi dressed as Audrey Hepburn - I mean, as far as I know, Ms. Hepburn didn't have whiskers!! - and Mister Cool dressed as David Ginola! Putting on a wig and holding a bottle of shampoo mate, ain't much of a disguise!  And the Boss dressed up as Mariano Rajoy!  Since when would the Spanish Head of State visit our part of the world?!!!  

That was when I smelled a rat!  Luckily, because I'd already eaten the rat escaped digestion, but even so I was onto them!  So when we got back to the newsroom I confronted the team and they spilled the beans - which I did eat, cos I can't resist beans!  They make thy fart!  And I loves to fart!  

It seems I was given the job solely because I like my food.....just a little bit mind...... and I might be just a teensy, weensy bit overweight (though by who's standards I'd like to know!  As far I'm concerned I'm just 'well-covered')  and this because I always 'clean my plate,' ....well, and anyone else's plate within paw reach - I hate waste after all - but they went and told one local restauranteur, who became scared I'd eat him out of house and custom and so once he saw me approaching he promptly battened down the hatches, then WhatsApp'd his mates who all did the same!  Hence.....no restaurant review!
Where's all me trimmings?

Is that the starter?
So instead I give you two pictures....one of my hero, Adam Richman, who can eat almost as much as me, and another of a roast chicken, cos that's what I'm eating right now to console myself!



 I'll be back soon with more tasty tit-bits to make your mouth water.

Sonny Tiger for NN, hungry and in Spain!